Geezer

May 21st, 2007.

I finally managed to sleep the night after my first psychedelic adventure. This was the first thing I drew the next day. It's an interesting choice and I sort of wish I fully remembered the reason for it. It's definitely a contrast with the other work. Linear, flat color, far less vibrant palette, etc.

I'm sure that in some way he is meant to represent social norms. This is the american dream. House with a yard in the suburbs, etc. It just isn't my dream and I can see in this drawing that there are weeds in this man's Eden. In a sense, as an artist, we are gods, creating the worlds our characters live in. So why did I make him unhappy in his? Do the weeds represent his doubt about his perfect world or my disapproval of his ideal?

I suppose in some ways I also want to know about this man. Is he happy? Does he ever stay up at night contemplating the nature of reality? To me, he is the alien, the other. He probably isn't a terrible person and though we may not understand one another, we're probably not really that different. We have hopes, dreams, love, fear, hope, frustration, etc.

Who would I have been if I'd fallen in love with him in highschool and married him and had his children? Would I have been more or less happy than I am or simply a wholly different person?

I dunno. It's such a weird drawing that I wanted to spend some time reworking it in color and contemplating it but I think it's given me more questions than answers.

Illustrator CS3